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Loving Men | Black Lives Matter

White smalladventures in intimacy


Black Lives Matter:
Heart Circle Online


with Tom Higgins, Pavan Joshi and Wayne Mertins-Brown
Sunday 27 September: 19:00 - 21:30 on Zoom


Please come and join us for this specially themed heart circle. Our hosts will be holding a heart centred space for us to reflect on the impact that the global Black Lives Matter movement has had on us personally and within our communities.

Here is some information on Tom, Pavan and Wayne that they asked us to share with you:

Tom Higgins is a psychotherapist and has spent over 20 years working in NHS mental health services, supporting people to overcome the psychological impact of trauma and of oppression. He has a deep interest in exploring Power, Privilege and Position in all aspects of life.

Dr Pavan Joshi is an NHS consultant psychiatrist and a fellow of the Royal College of Psychiatrists. He has about 20 years of experience addressing his patients' needs for varying, and often complicated mental health issues. He has keen interest in recognising the relational effects of different intersectional identities including LGBTQ+, physical wellbeing, emigration and culture.

Wayne Mertins-Brown is a Counsellor and Group-work Facilitator. He has spent many years working within charitable organisations, focussed on the mental wellbeing and sexual health of those who identify within the LGBTQ+ family. In particular, he has developed a specialism in counselling Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME), gay asylum seekers. To date, he has found this work to be the most impactful of his career. As well as being a trustee with 'Rainbow International LGBT Activist Solidarity Fund', Wayne is a practicing Nichiren Buddhist.

The structure for the evening is to meet briefly as a whole group to arrive together and explain the process, and then, split into smaller groups for 90 minutes so that several heart circles can run concurrently. There will be a facilitator in each smaller group. We'll then have a tea break with opportunities to chat with others, and come together for a final 30 minutes to share in the whole group.

Guidelines for a Loving Men Heart Circle

The idea of the Heart Circle is to have a space to share from the heart with others. When it's your turn to speak you will have space to share whatever is going on for you. We suggest not thinking too much about what you are going to say before your turn, as this distracts from listening to others. It'’s better to be spontaneous when it's your turn, perhaps by starting with a couple of deep breaths to centre yourself and ask yourself the question: what is going on for me in my heart right now?

As mentioned above, confidentiality is very important in a Heart Circle. Please don't repeat what others share in the heart circle outside of the heart circle.

It's also a tradition not to address others directly. It's not a conversation. It's a sharing space, for each of us to share what is going on in our heart in turn.

Sometimes people have feelings in a heart circle, tears or anger. That's OK. It's part of the process.

If you resonate with what someone is saying - it speaks to you or moves you - you can 'sparkle' by using your hand to silently indicate this.

As with all group work, the more you put in, the more you are likely to get out. Using Zoom adds a slight inhibiting effect, compared to being in each other's company. It's not so easy to read each other's subtle cues. So it's good to compensate for this a little, by speaking directly, acknowledging what others are saying and taking initiative within the session.


Our Heart Circles are provided on a Pay What You Can basis. Contributions help us with admin and such. But if times are tight, please do still register fee-free.

The task for each of us, White and of color, is to identify what our own sphere of influence is (however large or small) and to consider how it might be used to interrupt the cycle of racism.
Beverly Daniel Tatum

Residential Events

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Booking, deposits, final payments and cancellation

  • the standard deposit is £150

  • your balance is due 6 weeks before the start of the event

  • your place and deposit may be forfeited if we do not receive your balance 4 weeks before the start of the event

  • if you cancel 6 weeks or more before the event, we will return your deposit, less a £30 contribution to administrative costs

  • if you cancel between 2 and 6 weeks before the event, we will refund your payment for the event, minus the £150 deposit

  • if you cancel within 14 days of the start of the event, Loving Men reserve the right to retain your full fee

  • Booking, payments and cancellation

  • fees are payable in full at the time of booking

  • if you cancel your place 6 weeks or more before the event, we will return your fee, less a £30 contribution to administrative costs

  • if you cancel between 2 and 6 weeks before the event, we will return 50% of your fee

  • if you cancel within 14 days of the start of the event, Loving Men reserve the right to retain your full fee

  • Insurance

    For all events, Loving Men advise you to take out travel insurance to cover yourself for illness, emergency or cancellation


    Conduct at Events

    To ensure your own and others' welfare, Loving Men asks you to:

  • be responsible for your own safety and exercise due care for yourself throughout the event

  • be respectful towards others and of their personal boundaries

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